Goodbye 2017, Hello 2018

I'm alive!!!! See ya 2017, I'm so ready for 2018!

2017 ended up flying by for me the last half of the year. Lots of things happened. Some good, some bad. It's all a roller coaster adventure with its highs and lows.

2017 highlights:

• Got a new job! Started December 1 and so far so good! Still can't kick some of the habits I learned from the previous job but I'm working on it.
• I'm getting used to wearing "fancy clothes" for my business casual work place. I use that term loosely. That means anything that isn't a t-shirt, sweatshirt, jeans, shorts, athletic shoes or flip flops. Depends on the season. For those who don't know, those are my go-to clothes and would be totally fine wearing that everyday.
• Rediscovered my passions and what I want to do with my life. This is helping me set some goals for 2018. 
• Finished my latest sketchbook! Only took 5 years. haha But I'm proud to see the progress.
• Figured out how I'm using some of my Traveler's Notebooks and pens! Instead of just collecting them and gazing adoringly at them on my bookshelf.
• With the help of a dermatologist friend I'm finally able to manage my adult acne.
• Realized I am fortunate enough to have pretty much everything I could want so trying not to buy any material things unless I truly need them.

That's all I can think of at the moment. I may update the list later if I can remember anything else.

Ultimately, I feel like 2017 has been an introspective awakening period for me because it helped me determine what I really want in life. 

I also learned what not to take for granted because you just don't know how great some small things  are till it's gone, so try to enjoy the little things. I realized that I can be resilient even if I'm crying and feeling terrible, I don't love crying, actually I wish I could control it but there is some weird sensitive part of my soul that won't let me. I've always been like that and I wish I could change but I can't. That's just part of who I am. Those are particularly painful moments but you know what? They made me stronger and even though I don't love sharing my vulnerabilities, I know there is someone else out there who feels the same. The only thing you can do is move on and continue to do your best.

I know that I can be a pushover because I'm a people pleaser. I guess I like to help and try to see the good in people and often times it doesn't work in my favor. That said, I'm also skeptical and suspicious of people when I first meet them so it takes some time if someone breaks my trust. With those traits, I'm trying to learn to stand up for myself and be slightly more aggressive for the things I want or believe in. 

Lately, I've been having to remind myself to stop comparing myself to others. The older I get, the more I fear that I'm missing out but life is more about growing at your pace. Some days will be better than others but remember that it's ok to take breaks or distance yourself to rest. I'm still trying to find myself and I'm realizing that doesn't ever end. I'm not perfect and will never be. All I can do is keep trying my best and don't let others drag me down.

So this is my reminder to you that you shouldn't compare yourself to others. That you keep taking one step forward at a time at your pace and breathe.

Remember, every moment is temporary. If you're in pain, it will pass. If you're happy, enjoy the moment. All time ebbs and flows.

That's what's been going on with me! Hopefully you all are doing well and wishing you all the best in 2018!

-A